What should I say at a funeral?
A funeral speech is also called a 'eulogy'. It comes from the Greek word ‘to praise’. It is a speech that is intended to commemorate a loved one who has died. The ideal speech recalls favourable memories about the deceased person that is related to the mourners. The eulogy also introduces strangers to the life of the person.
How many types of funeral speeches are there?
There are three types of funeral speeches:
Personal
Biographical
Combination
A) Personal
A personal speech involves lots of emotions. The speaker talks from the heart. Memories, anecdotes, and experiences form the basis of this talk. The contents would include:
- anecdotes
- fondest memories
- why the deceased was special to you
- special qualities
- loves and hates
- what you will miss most about them
B) Biographical
The biographical speech revolves around facts. It includes the deceased’s:
- birthplace
- education
- work history
- social life
- clubs, charities, hobbies
- place, time, and cause of death
This type of speech is given by a guest speaker who may not know the deceased well. It can also be given by a family member who prefers a non-emotional speech.
C) Combination
There can be a combination of these speeches. The content can include both biographical and personal details.
A) PERSONAL eulogy speeches
What are the four steps when preparing a Personal Eulogy?
Research
Organise findings
Rehearse and edit
Delivery
1) What is the first step when preparing a Personal Eulogy?
Research is the first step when preparing a eulogy. This is easier than you may think. Talk to family members, relatives, and friends. They may remember events, stories, celebrations that make the deceased special. Any and all ideas are needed at this point. Questions to ask include:
- what was it about them that stands out in your mind?
- what do you think people will miss most about them?
- what were their most unusual but loveable habits?
- what was their best quality?
2) What do I do with the information I have gathered for a Personal Eulogy?
You have gathered lots of facts, stories, memories, and qualities about the deceased. Now it is time to organise them into some logical sequence. Group related memories, group related qualities and anecdotes.
3) How do I give a Personal Eulogy when standing in front of the audience?
You have done your research. You have organised your memories and the stories, examples, and facts that others gave you. You are now in front of the mourners. They are watching you; they are listening to you. What do you do next?
Some speakers will talk from their notes as they read them. Some rehearse their main points and can speak while they look at the audience. No matter which forms of speaking you adopt, you must be sincere and speak from the heart.
B) BIOGRAPHICAL eulogy speeches
How is a 'biographical' eulogy different from a 'personal' eulogy?
The biographical eulogy speech is more factual. It needs dates, facts, and statistics. The research can be more intensive. Your sources will initially be family or friends. Their memories may not be accurate regarding dates or places. Fortunately, this does not matter. Not many people will quibble if the year or location is incorrect. Assemble as much data as you need for a 4 to 6-minute speech. Rehearse, edit and deliver.
A biographical eulogy researches facts. These include:
- age
- place of birth
- locations: where they have lived
- education: schools, colleges, subjects studied, favourite subjects
- career: first job, other jobs, the locations, did they love or hate them
- hobbies: interests outside work.
- accomplishments
- how they would like to be remembered
Your next task is to organise these findings into a logical order.
Your final task is to rehearse and edit your draft speech until it is ready to be delivered at the ceremony.
C) COMBINATION eulogy speeches
Can I add some personal memories to a biographical eulogy?
Combination eulogy speeches mix the contents of a personal speech with a biographical speech. There is no best method to construct a eulogy speech. Create the speech you feel comfortable with using the above guidelines when preparing a personal and a biographical eulogy speech.
-Research
-Organise
-Rehearse and edit
-Deliver
Often, the deceased would have supported a cause or felt strongly about an issue. They would want their intentions to be relayed to those left behind. This provides a fitting conclusion to a heartfelt speech.
Conclusion
I hope this session on 'eulogies' or 'funeral' speeches has been useful. We have covered the two main approaches: personal eulogies and biographical eulogies. Some speakers may prefer to combine the two. Before you deliver your speech at the funeral, it is always wise to write your speech, then edit it and then rehearse it out loud. Remember, a eulogy is intended to commemorate a loved one and recalls favourable memories about the deceased person. Every success.
Comments