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Writer's picturePaul Larkin

INFLUENCE: How to get a "Yes"

What did Robert Cialdini, the social psychologist, discover?


While rhetoric is intended to persuade a large group of people, influence concentrates on persuading an individual. Robert Cialdini, a social psychologist, researched the ways in which an individual can be influenced.


He wrote the book called “INFLUENCE – The Psychology of Persuasion”. By ‘influence’, Cialdini meant the psychological principles that influence the tendency to comply with a request. In other words, how to get people to say “YES.” He identified 6 basic categories:


1 Reciprocity

2 Commitment then Consistency

3 Social Proof

4 Liking

5 Authority

6 Scarcity


Each major category has some associated minor tactics. These minor tactics can produce an automatic, mindless compliance from an individual. It produces a willingness to say ‘yes’, without thinking first.




1 RECIPROCITY


Ways to persuade people using the Reciprocity principle?


· Give a gift – expect a gift

· Give a gift – expect money

· Do a favour – ask a favour

· Make a big request – Make a smaller request – expect the smaller request


Notice in all these actions, it is you who initiates the activity. You put the other person under a social obligation to respond.


What is the principle of reciprocity?


Reciprocity has come to mean that we should repay, in kind, what another person has given us. For example, if someone buys us a birthday present, we should buy them a present. We are obligate to repay them in some way. People will respond to anyone provided they perform give us a gift or perform a small favour prior to their request. All human societies believe in this principle.


Why does the ‘Reciprocity Principle’ work?


In primitive times, human groups depended on each other for assistance. We shared food, we shared shelter, we shared protection. Sharing brought great benefit to societies that adopted the principle of reciprocity. If we did not respond, it would make it less likely that our benefactor would do us any favours in the future. This is of no advantage to the individual or to society.


There is a social pressure in human nature that puts us under an obligation to give, an obligation to receive and an obligation to repay. The obligation to receive makes us indebted to the person who gives and puts us under their power. Individuals in these societies who took from another and did not reciprocate were not considered a member of the group. A person who violates the reciprocity principle, by accepting without returning, is disliked by the social group and would be isolated. There is internal discomfort and external shame.


GIFTS and FAVOURS


Many people find it hard to walk away from a person who offers free samples without buying something. The free sample is seen as a ‘gift’ which then initiates the response of reciprocity. For example, experiments have shown that you can offer a person one gift (eg sticky envelope labels) and expect another type of gift (eg money).


There is a similar reaction to favours. By helping someone in their hour of need, you put them under an obligation to respond. Their response could be a gift or a favour.


MAKE a BIG REQUEST – MAKE a SMALLER REQUEST


Suppose you want a person to agree to a small request. First you should make a larger request, one that you know the person will turn down. Then you would make the smaller request that you originally intended. For example, you want to borrow $1. You ask your parents for $10. When they refuse, you ask for just $1. They agree.


The person would regard the smaller request as a concession. You have given them something, a concession that they can decide to accept or not accept. It makes them feel in control. It also is seen as a ‘gift’. They do not want to look bad by refusing your larger request. But they can look good by answering your smaller request which satisfies the reciprocity rule.




2 COMMITMENT then CONSISTENCY


Ways to persuade people using the Commitment then Consistency principle?


Writing

· Sign something

· Fill in a form

· Write down their goals

· Write down their goals and show them to other people

· Write down a testimonial


Saying

· Assure them that you have the solution to their problem

· Get them to make a promise

· Ask “What would you do if . . .?” – then ask a related favour

· Ask “How are you today?”, wait for a response, then ask for a related favour

· Get them to make a statement of commitment in front of others

· Get them to agree to a minor proposition then a major proposition

· Praise the person/group and expect them to live up to your expectations


Actions

· Give a gift to people who sign up for your proposition

· Give a gift to those who attend your meeting

· Give a small gift then make a big proposition

· Ask for a show of hands

· Publish their names in the media

· Make the initiation ceremony/procedure difficult


What is the principle of Commitment and Consistency?


The purpose of this principle is to get a person to commit to a course of action. Once there is some sort of commitment, the person is more likely to behave in a way that is consistent with that commitment in the future.


Why does the ‘Commitment then Consistency’ principle work?


Researchers have found that once a person makes some sort of commitment, in the future, they are more likely to behave in a way that is consistent with that commitment.


Humans have an obsessive desire to appear consistent with what they have said or written or done. We adjust our thoughts and beliefs to be consistent with our behaviour. As a result, our thoughts, our feelings and behaviour become consistent. What we commit to in the present will affect our behaviour in the future.


Why do we obsess about consistency? Society values consistency. Inconsistency is considered an undesirable human quality. Society sees people as indecisive, confused or mentally ill if an individual’s beliefs and words and actions do not match. Consistency is seen as a mark of stability, rationality and honesty.


Writing is a great tactic. The person provides physical evidence. The signed document acts as an incentive to make the person’s beliefs and self-image consistent with what they have agreed to. It can be shown to other people. It is the person’s testimonial to what they believe. And people behave according to what they believe, both now and in the future.


Verbal commitment is a great tactic. Whenever one takes a stand, it is visible to others. The more public the stand, the more reluctant people are to change it. There is a drive to maintain one’s convictions in order to look like a consistent person. Society regards consistency as a valuable trait and a consistent individual is considered a good person.


Actions are a great tactic. Actions can intensify the commitment. The reciprocity principle works when there are gifts. The more writing or repeated verbal commitments makes the person’s beliefs and future behaviour more ingrained. Increasing the number of activities needed to join a group has the same powerful effect. A person, who exerts effort to attain something, tends to value it more highly. The more arduous the successful completion of the task, the more the candidate is reminded that it was they who chose to do it. They ‘own’ what they have done and do not need a big reward as an incentive. The more committed they are to the group.




3 SOCIAL PROOF


Ways to persuade people using the Social Proof principle


· To sell products or services: Show the target group an individual who is similar to them. The individual is shown using the product/service. The individual recommends the product or service to the target group.


· To change the behaviour of a child: Show a child of the same age group behaving in the desire manner.


· To change the behaviour of an adult: Show a group of adults behaving in the desired manner.


What is the principle of Social Proof?


Social Proof is our tendency to assume that an action is more correct if others are doing it. We view behaviour as more correct in a given situation to the degree that we see others performing it. When a lot of people are doing the same thing, we believe that this action is the right thing to do. We use the information about how others have behaved to hep us determine the proper conduct for ourselves. The ‘correct’ behaviour can be a live demonstration or can be show on film.


Why does the ‘Social Proof’ principle work?


We use the action of others, especially the action of people who are similar to us, to decide the behaviour that we should adopt. When we are in a situation where there are many choices of behaviour, we look to others for guidance. The choices of behaviour can be “What to buy?” or “How to act”.


When we look for guidance from an individual, we are most influenced to buy or act when the individual is similar to us. When adults look for guidance from a group, they consider their collective behaviour, rather than their personal characteristics, when deciding on a course of action. Children look for behavioural guidance from children of a similar age.




4 LIKING


Ways to persuade using the Liking principle


The Product

· Get a friend to recommend the item to their friends

· Once a person admits to liking a product, they can be pressed for the names of their friends who would appreciate learning about the item

· Call the friends, whose name you were given, and explain their friend gave you the number. Then make the sales pitch

· Sell at an event that was organized by a person who invited their friends

· Pair your product with people/things that the target audience likes

· Get a celebrity to associate themselves with your product. The product does not have to be directly related to the celebrity’s expertise.

· Refer to successful people because fans buy articles related to successful people or teams.



The Salesperson

· Grooming: people automatically assign favourable traits to people who take care of their appearance

· Similarity: align the description of your opinions, background, lifestyle dress with the target person

· Admiration: say or write “I like you” frequently when appropriate

· Compliments: make comments that flatter the person whether true or not

· Make Contact: meet frequently with the target audience either physically or through the media

· Common Goals: appear to be helping the target audience to achieve their goals

· Good Causes: associate yourself with positive goals and humanitarian projects

· Announcements: be the giver of good news

· Association: name-drop the name of famous people you know OR inflate the successes of people you do know

· Free Gift: provide free food or free gifts before the presentation



What is the principle of Liking?


People say “Yes” to people that they like. People buy products from people they like. People buy products if the celebrity they like are associated with the product.



Why does the ‘Liking’ principle work?


We say “Yes” to requests from people we like. People buy products that are recommended by friends. We experience added pressure to say “Yes” if a person or their product is recommended by a friend. People change their behaviour or buy products on the recommendation of people they like.



How do you make people like you?


People automatically assign favourable traits to people who are well-groomed. Consequently, take care of your appearance and personal hygiene.


We like other people who are similar to us. So, select those parts of your background, life style, work history, experiences etc that are congruent with the other person.


Everybody loves people who flatter them and say they like us. Take every opportunity to praise the person’s good qualities.


The more we meet a person, the more we interpret their presence as an indication that they like us. Attend events where you have more opportunities to meet those people.


People like others who share a common goal. Join groups and causes that these people support.


We all love to hear good news and we associate positive traits to those who bring it. Announce any relevant good news and let others give the bad news.



5 Authority


Ways to persuade people using the Authority principle


· Titles

· Clothes

· Trappings


What is the principle of Authority?


When we realise that obedience to authority is rewarding, we start complying with the wishes of that authority automatically. We react rather than evaluate.


Why does the Authority principle work?


Are we trained to comply?


When we were children, authority figures knew more than we did. It was to our benefit that we should follow their advice. Add to this fact, that if we did not obey the authority figure, we would be punished. We are trained to obey authority figures.


As adults, we also realise that complying with the demands of authority figures is to our advantage. At work we get promotion. Promotion means more money. More money means more luxuries. When we obey laws and government edicts, we do not experience any grief. Compliance to authority figures benefits us.


Are some people superior to us?


We believe that people who are superior to us have access to better information and power. Doctors, politicians, bosses have knowledge that we do not have or do not have access to. It makes sense to obey their requests. It benefits everyone in society if we all obey.


Do externals give a person authority?


Once we start obeying authority automatically, we become susceptible to the symbols of authority. We associate titles, clothes and trappings with people of authority. We give them our blind obedience.


Titles: symbols of implied superior knowledge. In the workplace or in government, the higher the grade, the greater the power.


Clothes: Well-dressed individuals and people wearing the robes of office are treated with respect and admiration. Clothes send out a message of honesty and worthiness. These people command our obedience.


Trappings: trinkets like necklaces and watches or possessions such are expensive cars and houses are all interpreted as belonging to people of power and authority. The more they flaunt their wealth, the more we see them as authority figures.



6 Scarcity


Ways to persuade people using the Scarcity principle


· Reduce the availability of the product

· Reduce the time available for the special offer

· Reduce your availability to provide the product or special offer

· Emphasize the produce is in high demand and selling fast

· Create competition for the same product in the same place at the same time

· Ask for an immediate decision while indicating the limited availability, time or your presence

· Explain the downside of not making an immediate decision

· Ban information and publicize the censorship

· Reduce privileges then restore them



What is the principle of Scarcity?


Opportunities seem more valuable to us when their availability is limited.



Why does the ‘Scarcity Principle’ work


Humans react when there is a reduction of personal freedom. Similarly, we react when products and services are limited. Scarcity increases desire and restricting ownership increases it even more.


When an item becomes less available, our subconscious causes us to experience an increased desire for it. We can not explain this feeling of compulsion, so we begin to give the product some positive qualities to justify the desire. As the desirability of the item increases, our motivation to possess it becomes obsessive.


While we want an item more if it is scarce, we want it even more if there is competition for the same item. We are motivated more by the fear of losing something than we are by the thought of gaining something. When there is competition, our emotions surface and our rational mind takes a back seat. Our emotions now react to the scarcity principle. Our desire for the item is magnified. Our aim is to possess it rather than to evaluate its practical use. When the emotions are in control, we never stop to think about the reason we wanted the item. Is it to use it? Is it to possess it? Scarcity clouds our judgement and seriously affects our decisions.


CONCLUSION


There are different ways to get to a “Yes”. Robert Cialdini identified six techniques. These were Reciprocity, Commitment and Consistency, Social Proof, Liking, Authority and Scarcity. Depending on the situation, one or a combination of these would be effective if you wanted a customer or colleague to say “Yes”. Knowing these various elements gives you a power to produce spectacular results that you may not have thought possible.


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